When it comes to an old lover moving on
The news is hardly ever delivered directly to you
It comes in waves and sometimes in hushed conversations
Unlike the other losses in life, this one is better left uninformed
When it does reach you however,
The feeling still remains the same
Bittersweet memories of days you spent in bliss flows in unwelcome
Once you meant something to someone
Old songs emerge in the form of last Valentines Day gifts
You close your eyes and you can feel them again, gently brushing your eyelashes
You think of how perfectly you fit into their arms
The sweet words of love and forever
You had built your future and theirs
I, becomes us and you free fall into the passionate abyss

I mourn the kisses that were lost
I mourn the tangled mess on the bed that we once were
I mourn the hands that once held in innocence
The blueprints of life together, float away like a dandelion in the wind
I close my eyes and let go
Of the love, the home, the kids, the memories of what could have been
I mourn the goodbye, open my eyes and put on my smile


Happily Never after

The day he came home smelling like cigarettes and sex
I wanted him once again
The thought that someone else desired him
Made him irresistible

As I nibble his ear and he groans
I think of the first time he invited me into his world
His laugh, his card tricks, the oysters and that smile
I had let the infatuation wash over like gentle waves

I kiss him softly, and hard
Gently untangling him
Remembering the laughs at the pier
The memories of fresh-cut roses and wine fill me while he touches me

I can smell her perfume as I trail kisses down his chest
Like a trance I close my eyes and inhale her scent
For a moment I am her, the intruder in my bed
His promises of forever and always float into my mind

Rises of pleasure, moans of satisfaction
I realize how it feels to feel dead and alive at the exact same time
There is so much that needs to be said but words fail me
I cry out with ecstasy and agony

I might be a broken shell today
The truth is nothing will ever balm over this pain
I bend down to kiss him while he is asleep
Leaving my past and my love behind


The hour of melancholia has risen again like clockwork
Every week it arises during midday of the diminishing weekend
Tasks of organizational and homely propriety settled
Yet the goals of yesteryear and yesterday stay unfinished
Looming above like wisps of forgotten memories

My biggest fear is that my ennui will never fade
That limbo will be permanent
Stuck between the past and the future
Unable to move
Frozen forever in the depths of despair

There are more questions than answers
They pile up like the documents on the desk of an office clerk
The answers are complicated
Like the relationships
Unhinged from their designated space with nowhere to go

The worst part is that my sadness is spreading to those around me
Slowly their personalities wilt away
Like a contagious toxin their expression matches mine
All the light in the home, all the wealth in our wallets
Nothing able to pave the crippling unknown path ahead

We sit in different spaces, rooms, and countries
Trying to understand what lies ahead for each of us
Profession, matrimony, health and wealth
All suspended without gravity in our minds
While we hopelessly wait in agony for tomorrow

The Media According to us

Vampire Shows, Reality Shows, Justin Beiber, Lady Gaga and now Rebecca Black. Wonder whatever happened to the media? The real truth? We happened. Mass consumption of people who are happy to see ridiculous and shallow content across the mediums because “Drum roll here” We like to think we are better than the Justin Beibers of the world.

Human psychology is favorable to the idea of sadism; we enjoy seeing people acting like fools as it makes us feel superior. Think about the American Idol William Hung debacle, the reason people were fascinated was due to the fact that here was a person oblivious to the world and his shortcomings, making a fool himself on national television. We as a mass will probably never have the courage to do what William Hung did, but it does not stop us from enjoying it

We like Reality shows where people do the most ridiculous things, even if we know in the bottom of our hearts that these shows are artificial, we like seeing the cat fights and sexual deviance in Big Brother and we absolutely love it when Trump says “You’re Fired”

Vampire shows are of course the flavor of the month, although this flavor seems to have caught our fancies for longer (could it be due to the fact that vampires drink human blood? Don’t need Freud here to interpret) Yes we love the beautiful people but I think we love the blood drinking more maybe because it appeals to our base and primal nature. Hunger, Lust, Survival

Coming to the Tween of Pop Justin Beiber, he is young, he is cheeky but the boy has got talent. Actually Justin Beiber would be someone who used the power of social media for good. He does not appeal to all the age groups and genders but to his Target Audience, he is an idol. He knows what they want and he gives them what they want. Quite Simple. The fact that he used YouTube to rise to success is where it gets interesting. He knew that 13-year-old girls aren’t watching TV or listening to the radio as much as they were on YouTube watching Edward and Bella kiss, thus he went where they were. Classic Marketing Strategy, well, perhaps it was strategy or just dumb luck but it worked, he used a medium that he understood to broadcast himself and voila. Baby Baby Baby ohh!

For the adults of the world, we have Lady Gaga. All Hail the Queen of Monsters. Lady Gaga born Stefani Germonatta started playing the Piano by the age of 4. She has skills but what do you think of when you hear her name? Yep, The meat dress, the Artificial Blood for her Paparazzi performance, the giant egg to launch her new album “Born this way” and who can forget her video with Beyonce “Telephone”. Forbes tells us that she isn’t the New Madonna; she is the new business model. Preying on people’s lowest and weirdest fantasies. She has awed and shocked the world, but we haven’t been able to take our eyes off her. She is now one of the most powerful social currencies in the world due to her 1.6 million followers on twitter and 360 million views on her Bad Romance video. Why? Lady Gaga is a master magician, she understand the nature of viral. Her voice, personality, music and choice of garments is tailor-made to enchant any neitzen. She does this so well that even traditional brands would now like to use Lady Gaga to be their ambassador due to her social currency.

The point perhaps is where does it end? The debauchery? With girls like Rebecca Black singing about the day of the week like its “Oh so fantastic!” her video and her autotune is far from Fun Fun Fun! (Actual lyrics of the song btw). Like discussed above, the reason she has 62 million views and rising is because she is creation of our society. She exists as a reminder that we lead meaningful lives, she is the yin to our yang. Just that her annoying voice is enough to makes you want to pull out your ears. If Rebecca Black had a half decent voice, her fame would be justified but honestly I don’t think the poor girl realizes that the world is not cherishing her but rather relishing her.

Some Interesting Links

Rebecca Black Friday:
The Business of Lady Gaga:
The Age of mediocrity:

What About Ys?

The world of instant, Generation Y, The Net generation, call them what you want, they are the here and now people. I have been hearing about them for a while now, they just keep appearing in conversations, lectures and in books. Somehow belonging to that Generation I admit I do have most of the stereotypes attached, but in some ways our Generation is also the most versatile, no one is the same, it’s a mine field for psychoanalysts. Opinions and independent thought is what seems to drive us and we demand everything right here and at this moment.

I think the best part of Generation Y is exactly their reasoning and their curiosity to know “Why?” They don’t always agree to what is being taught to them but chose to form their own opinions but of course one has to wonder what role has the internet played here. Aren’t Generation Y also forming opinions based on what they read or find on their gadgets? Of course they do, they are taking in so much information everyday but the difference is the source.

Previously we as the younger generation got our information from our Parents, Schools and perhaps even our TV’s but today we can seek out information we need we are no longer passive sponges but active users. Usually we find about twenty different opinions and feedbacks on the same subject. It’s up to us to decide which comment or point we want to agree with. The difference is that the source of information is : YOU.

The freedom to choose is something our generation takes for granted and honestly sometimes we don’t realize just how lucky we are to be given the opportunity to take our own risks and make decisions. We don’t realize that with the invention of social networks, blogs and information sharing networks we now have to power to say whatever we want, whenever we want and however we want. It is truly breaking through the previous social stratum.

These days Youtube celebs are normal people who had the webcam, skill and the passion to show off their talents to the rest of the world. Celebrities are now telling us what they had for breakfast and what’s going on in their personal relationships (sometimes a little too much info, but you get the point), brands can now communicate directly to people who buy/use them it also means users can now give feedback to brands to make products better. Communication is horizontal and thus making each and everyone powerful in their own right.

I suppose the Generation Y is only the start to what will probably be called the digital age. The age where people started communicating with the help of their machines to the rest of the world. The other day I was sitting with a friend of mine and we talked about the days when we had one telephone in the house and how you would call a friend at home and say you would meet them at a certain time and place for coffee and they would be there, promptly on time. Today though you can just send a Text, IM, BB message or well about 100 different ways to say they won’t be able to make it or that you will be late. Thus the question for me has always been the same, starting from Generation Y will technology help us get closer or just drive us further apart?

2008: A year to remember

This year has been a Rollercoaster ride for most people I know. Apart from the important events, such as the Economic Recession, Mumbai Bombings, US Elections of first African American President(trying to be politically correct) and Dark knight, which I believe is one of the best movies with the best Joker the world has ever seen, this year has been personally and emotionally life changing for a lot of people including myself.

Few things I have noticed this year is our ever growing dependence for technology ( this isnt a late realisation, just realised the full extent of it) We have become such slaves to our mobile Phones, our Laptops, our PSP’s, our IPods. Seems like we look at screens more than we look at our loved ones. I for one am not sure what this means, because I support and love technology but just fearing wether Im replacing microchips for loving relationships, also debating wether thats a good thing. Have we started a point of perspective where we dont need the Human Touch? Would we miss it? Are we losing out? (Duh!)

This year has been a journey for me, leaving behind the familiar smiles of my family in Dubai and more importantly my family in Bangalore.

Personal Note to My Bangalore Family:
Guys I just want to say, I didnt leave because I didnt love you guys, I left because I had to move on before my ass would be stuck in one of the plastic chairs of Barista. I can never thank you enough for everything you have done for me, you have made me the person I have grown to love through your support. You are chrerished and missed EVERYDAY. Please always remember that. Each one of have reserved a VIP seat in my heart and it aint never goin away.

This year I moved to melbourne, carrying all that heartbreak of leaving my friends and family, but for anyone who is making a transition, I would say this. At first you will not be able to stand the distance and the emptiness, but eventually life takes over and new people come into your life and heal you. In Melbourne, I met people like that, they changed everything, they were like painkillers to the heartbreak, it never truly goes away because lets face it, you cannot ever stop missing your friends and family, but these Angels help you through it. They gave me a reason to wake up in the morning and I am grateful to them. I will owe you for making me laugh and for holding my hand through it all.

Thus with this Note I would like to bid the year of 2008, adieu. It has been very eventful and bittersweet. This year might have been the worst for some people, but for me, this year with all its ups and downs has taught me something about human relationships, Something I took for granted.
Never underestimate the power of friendship and Change is sometimes the best thing that can happen to you, so take it by the horns people.
Only way to live. 🙂

Goodbye 2008!

Ponderings of a dreamy teenager

Don’t you wonder sometimes, What is it that we are meant to do? It’s really a subjective question and of course it’s different for all of us. I’ve often heard of the phrase “Do what your heart says” And personally I don’t like that phrase a lot, probably because whenever I’ve “asked my heart”, I just get even more confused, I mean it doesn’t tell you anything, it’s just a decision which we have to make. Something which I trust is my instinct which has got me out of sticky situations, it is more or less like a radar which tells me to clear up the mess I’ve made because danger is near but of course even your instinct can be wrong at times right? Then where do we turn to? Ah of course our friends opinions .Someone once told me “Opinions are like assholes, everyone has them” .At first I laughed out loud but after thinking about it, I realized how much truth there is in that sentence. I for one always ask for opinions but I never take them, I end up doing exactly what I feel like. Well those decisions mostly get me into trouble but then again that’s the circle of my life. I’m stable for a while then I’d do something wild and get myself out of it quickly before it becomes too messy. It’s all a vicious circle, if we take no risks life becomes boring and if life is boring we’re inclined to take risks. Well I really don’t know what my conclusion or point is, it’s just something I sat down to think about. Now time to get up and get goin! 🙂